I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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