She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
