How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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