I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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