Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
