he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize