Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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