My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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