I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
