Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
