bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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