Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
