whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
