Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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