Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We had to coat check the pizza.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
