I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
