Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
there is glitter all over my balls
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
