Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
