If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
