mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
