i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My life is pants optional.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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