you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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