I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
