Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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