They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
