He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
