do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Say something about gay babies.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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