lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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