i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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