The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
