you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
