i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
