Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
