Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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