Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize