i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
In America we eat man semen.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
