I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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