i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
