Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
