WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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