in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
