Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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