Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm like, not good at living.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
