AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
