so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
