ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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