took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
