But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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