i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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