ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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