bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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