i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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