happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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