it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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