I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
