you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize