I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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