Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
