Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
