Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
its not stalking. its research.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
