and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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