I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
