I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
