In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
