He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
