the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize