never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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