hotel room ftw
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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