her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
