Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
