if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
