what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
