Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
