She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
operation harelip BJ is a go
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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