you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
