if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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