She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
