I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
